Love is not enough. That may sound harsh, but when a medical emergency strikes or a loved one passes away without the right paperwork in place, love carries no legal weight. For same-sex couples in Texas, that reality carries a particular edge, because the Lone Star State offers some of the least legal protection in the country for couples who haven’t taken specific, deliberate steps to protect each other.
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are one of the most visible and beloved same-sex couples in American public life. Married in 2014, they have built a family with their 15-year-old twins, Harper and Gideon, and they show up together at Elton John AIDS Foundation galas, Broadway openings, and charity events as a unit, a team, a family. By all appearances, they have it together.
But here’s the question every couple should be able to answer with a confident yes: do they have the paperwork?
It’s a question that matters everywhere. In Texas, it matters more than almost anywhere else.
Texas Is Not Your Friend Here
Texas still has a constitutional amendment on its books defining marriage as between a man and a woman, left over from 2005. It is currently unenforceable under federal law, but it hasn’t been removed, and it reflects an ongoing legislative attitude toward same-sex relationships in the state.
As of 2026, Texas does not legally recognize domestic partnerships at the state level. While some cities like Austin and Houston maintain local domestic partnership registries, those local registrations carry limited weight and don’t provide the same protections as marriage.
The Supreme Court’s November 2025 decision to decline a petition to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges was welcome news, and marriage equality remains the law of the land. But Justice Clarence Thomas has previously signaled openness to revisiting that ruling. Idaho’s state legislature called for the Supreme Court to reconsider it in 2025. The legal ground is not as solid as it feels.
This is the environment in which Texas same-sex couples are building lives. And in that environment, the right paperwork isn’t a nice-to-have. It is a lifeline.
What Texas Law Will Actually Do Without Your Documents If You Are Unmarried
Texas intestacy law (the rules that govern what happens to your estate if you die without a will) does not list unmarried partners. At all. If your partner dies without a will and you are not legally married, their estate goes to their biological family: children first, then parents, then siblings, and on down the line. You get nothing.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve been together for 15 years. It doesn’t matter that you share a home or have joint bank accounts. If an asset is in their name and you aren’t married, it passes through probate according to the Texas Estates Code, not according to your relationship.
That home you share? It could go to a parent or sibling you’ve never met. The savings you both contributed to? Gone to legal heirs who may not even know you exist.
If You Are Married but Have No Other Documents
Marriage helps enormously. A surviving same-sex spouse does have inheritance rights and, in many situations, the right to make medical decisions. But even for married couples, Texas law creates friction.
Hospitals and medical facilities are still required to follow HIPAA. A marriage certificate does not automatically give your spouse access to your medical records or the right to speak directly with your doctors. That requires a specific HIPAA authorization form naming them. Without it, a single resistant hospital administrator can shut them out of the room at the worst possible moment.
And if your marriage were ever legally challenged, whether through a future court ruling, a shift in state law, or interference from a hostile family member, your other documents would be the protection that holds. You should not be relying on a single legal framework to protect your family.
The Four Documents Texas Same-Sex Couples Need Right Now
1. Durable Financial Power of Attorney
This document gives your partner the legal authority to manage your financial affairs if you become incapacitated. Without it, they may be unable to pay your shared mortgage, access accounts, or handle financial decisions on your behalf. In Texas, a durable power of attorney remains in effect even when you are incapacitated, which is exactly when you need it to work.
2. Medical Power of Attorney (Texas Form)
Texas has a specific, standardized Medical Power of Attorney form governed by Texas Health & Safety Code §166.164. This document designates your partner as the person who can make medical treatment decisions on your behalf if you cannot make them yourself. It must be signed in front of two qualified witnesses or acknowledged before a notary. One of those witnesses cannot be the person you are naming as your agent.
This is the document that gives your partner a legal voice in the hospital room. Without it, that voice belongs to your next of kin under Texas law, which means your parents or siblings, regardless of your relationship with them.
3. HIPAA Authorization
Even if your partner has a Medical Power of Attorney, hospitals may still refuse to share your medical information without an explicit HIPAA authorization. These are two separate legal functions. The Medical Power of Attorney grants decision-making authority. The HIPAA authorization grants information access. You need both.
Without a signed HIPAA authorization naming your partner specifically, your doctors are legally barred from giving them medical updates, sharing test results, or answering their questions about your care. In Texas, this form takes effect immediately upon signing and remains valid unless revoked. It should be kept current and provided to every healthcare provider you use, including specialists.
4. A Will, or Better, a Living Trust
A will directs how your assets are distributed after your death. In Texas, this is the document that overrides the intestacy laws described above. Without one, the state decides who gets what, and your partner is not on that list unless you are legally married.
A living trust can accomplish everything a will does, while also helping your estate avoid the time and expense of Texas probate, allowing your partner to step in as trustee immediately if you become incapacitated, and offering a layer of privacy that a will (which becomes a public record in probate) does not.
For couples with children, especially where one parent is not biologically or legally related to the child, a will is urgent. Without proper documentation, a non-adoptive parent may have no legal right to custody of their children after a partner’s death, regardless of how long they have been part of that child’s life.
An Additional Texas Tool: The Right of Survivorship Agreement
Texas law allows couples to create a survivorship agreement for jointly owned property. This means that when one partner dies, their share of the property passes directly to the surviving partner without going through probate. For unmarried couples especially, getting property properly titled with survivorship rights can be a critical piece of protection, particularly for the home you share.
This is a Texas-specific tool that an estate planning attorney familiar with the state’s unique property rules can help you set up correctly.
A Note on Texas Community Property Law
Texas is a community property state, which means that assets acquired during a marriage are generally considered owned equally by both spouses. This is a meaningful protection for legally married couples. But it only applies to married couples, and it does not automatically sort out who gets what after a death. Explicit estate planning documents are still essential to ensure that property goes where you intend it to go, and to avoid disputes that community property law alone cannot prevent.
For Unmarried Couples: The Urgency Is Real
Fewer than one in ten LGBTQ+ adults are legally married to a same-sex partner. If you are in a committed relationship but not legally married, and you are living in Texas, you are currently operating without most of the legal protections that heterosexual couples take for granted.
This is fixable. A few hours with a qualified estate planning attorney who understands the needs of LGBTQ+ clients can put the right documents in place. The investment is modest. The protection it provides is not.
Where to Start in Texas
Find an LGBTQ-affirming estate planning attorney.
Organizations like GLAD Law (GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders) and the State Bar of Texas’s referral services can help you find attorneys experienced in this area. Might I suggest Misteli Law Firm.
Review existing documents if you have them.
Texas law changes, life circumstances change, and documents that were adequate five years ago may have gaps today. An annual review is a reasonable habit.
Don’t rely on templates alone.
Texas has specific statutory requirements for medical powers of attorney and other documents. An attorney can catch issues that a downloaded form will not.
Update beneficiary designations.
IRAs, 401(k)s, life insurance policies, and bank accounts with payable-on-death designations can pass directly to your partner outside of probate if you name them correctly. This is one of the simplest and most powerful tools available, and it requires no court involvement.
Talk with your partner.
The conversation about what you want, who you trust, and what you are building together is just as important as the legal paperwork.
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka have spent years showing up as a family, raising their kids, supporting LGBTQ+ causes, and living their lives visibly and joyfully. That visibility matters. But visibility doesn’t protect you in a Texas probate court or at a hospital front desk at two in the morning.
The most loving thing any couple can do for each other is make sure that if something goes wrong, the person they love most has the legal authority to show up for them.
In Texas, you have to build that protection yourself. The good news is that you can.
For more on Texas estate planning, and to learn about estate planning lawyer Tom Misteli and The Misteli Law Firm, visit www.mistelilaw.com.
