We do so much online now, from sharing family photos to paying bills. Cybersecurity Awareness Month is a reminder to be thoughtful about the information we share and the people we trust.
Planning ahead also means choosing who can make decisions for you and making your wishes clear, so your loved ones have a clearer starting point if you cannot speak for yourself.
Those two ideas meet in a place many families never think about until it is too late: the phone in your pocket.
Married 51 Years, Locked Out of His Own Email
Everett Kincer of Rocklin, California, was married to his wife, Luciana, for 51 years. After she died in 2024, he found himself locked out of the couple’s joint email account.
The problem was not a forgotten password. The account’s two-step verification was tied to Luciana’s phone number, and that number was no longer active. Every time the account asked for a code, it went to a phone no one could use.
Everett called the provider’s customer service dozens of times asking to move the verification to his own cell number. Nothing changed until a local TV consumer team, CBS13’s Call Kurtis, stepped in. The company then fixed the account and apologized.
“Every time I have to deal with them, then it brings up my wife’s death,” Everett told the station. “It’s terrible.”
His story is not unusual. It is simply one that made the news.
Why Passwords Alone Are Not Enough
Many people have been told to write down their passwords for their family. That is a good start, but it is no longer the whole answer.
Most banks, email providers, and retirement accounts now use two-factor authentication. After you type your password, the site sends a code to your phone by text, or asks you to approve the login in an app. It is one of the best ways to keep criminals out of your accounts, and we encourage everyone to use it.
The catch is that it keeps your family out, too. Even with every password in hand, your loved ones may still need:
- Your phone itself, to receive a text code or approve a login
- Your phone’s passcode, because Face ID and fingerprints will not work after you die
- An active phone number, since codes cannot reach a line that has been canceled
- Your authenticator app or backup codes, if you use one
Without these, a simple task like closing an account or finding a bill can turn into weeks of phone calls, just as it did for Everett.
Simple Steps You Can Take Now
You do not have to be a tech expert to make this easier on your family. A few small steps go a long way.
- Make a list of your digital accounts. Include banking, email, retirement, utilities, subscriptions, social media, and photo storage. Note which ones send codes to your phone.
- Use a password manager. Tools like 1Password or Bitwarden keep your logins in one secure place. Many let you name an emergency contact.
- Plan for your phone. Keep your phone passcode somewhere safe and private, and tell a trusted person where to find it. Ask your family to keep your phone line active for a few months after you die so codes can still come through.
- Save your backup codes. Many sites offer one-time recovery codes when you set up two-factor. Print them and store them with your other important papers.
- Set up legacy tools. Apple lets you name a Legacy Contact who can request your photos, messages, and files after you die. Google offers an Inactive Account Manager that shares your data with up to 10 people you choose. Facebook lets you pick a legacy contact for a memorialized account.
- Store it all securely. A list of passwords on a sticky note is a risk while you are alive. Keep this information locked away, and make sure the right person knows how to reach it.
A quick note: Apple’s Legacy Contact does not unlock your phone. Your family still needs the passcode, which is why step 3 matters so much.
Where Your Estate Plan Comes In
Passwords and phones are the practical side. Your estate plan is the legal side, and your family needs both.
In Texas, the Texas Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act (Chapter 2001 of the Texas Estates Code) sets the rules for who can access your online accounts. Under Section 2001.051, you can give directions through a company’s online tool, or through your will, trust, or power of attorney. A direction you give in an online tool generally overrides a contrary one in your documents, so it helps to keep them in agreement.
A thoughtful plan can:
- Name the person you trust to handle your digital accounts
- Give clear written permission for that person to access your accounts and communications
- Include a durable power of attorney, so someone can help if you are alive but cannot manage things yourself
- Point your family to where your account list and passcodes are kept
This is part of the conversation we have with families when we build a Life & Legacy Plan®. Your digital life is part of your legacy, and it deserves the same care as your home or your savings.
A Clearer Starting Point for the People You Love
Everett’s story had a good ending, but it should not have taken a TV news team to get there. With a little planning, your family can skip the hold music and focus on what matters.
This Cybersecurity Awareness Month, take one small step. Make your account list, save your backup codes, or tell someone you trust where your phone passcode is kept.
If you would like help making sure your estate plan covers your digital life, we are here to talk it through with you.
For more on Texas estate planning, and to learn about estate planning lawyer Tom Misteli and The Misteli Law Firm, visit www.mistelilaw.com.
